Tremain's Story
They say violence begets violence - I could see the circle right in front of my face, and i could see that i had the opportunity of changing it

I think people donít realise itís a lifelong thing, working on this project was like looking into another world.

Jordan Wisniewski

You see these guys do these things and there is no feeling of remorse, no feeling of anything. And then you put the P (methamphetamine) on top of it, you have the recipe for complete dominating loyalty and a very scary robot soldier who will do what you ask. If you are Maori or Polynesian, these things are very ingrained into you.

It’s ironic how things turned out. My father came to spend the last years of his life with me when he was 72 years old. He wanted to tell me he was sorry that he didn’t give me anything and for how he treated me. He said out of all of us, I had come out with the best heart. But it was too late. He was just making his peace before he died. He had lots of time before that, but his pride got in the way.

I’m the one who’s turned out very Maori. My older brother became very religious and chose to live a non-Maori lifestyle. My younger brother went like my father. He got everything he wanted and now he’s an alcoholic, trapped in it, he can’t do anything to save himself. I’m the only one that’s taken a strong interest in things Maori.

Our youngest daughter is now eight. Her name is Mamie – and that was my mother’s name. My mother always told us not to name any of our children after her, because in all those years of pain and suffering the only time her name was said to her was always in anger or hurt. She said “I don’t want my name to be said in anger again”. My sisters asked me, “Why did you name your baby Mamie?” And I said, “To remind me to be nice to her”.

I keep my family close to me all the time because they are my monitors. They’re not scared of me any more. That’s the legacy I’ve left for my two grandchildren. They don’t know the kind of life I grew up in, and they won’t know it from me. Those days are gone.